“Your brain is a supercomputer and your self talk is the program it will run.” Jim Kwik.
Previously, I wrote about some of the things that help me get through the chaos of being a full-time working mumma. I take a lot of pride in the work that I do as an Executive Assistant. Many times I’ve been asked things like “Have you always wanted to just be an EA?” Or “do you have any career aspirations beyond being an EA?” Obviously those who ask these questions don’t understand the full nature of the position I hold.
I absolutely love what I do. It brings me joy every single day, I wonder how many people can truly say that? Yeah sure there are difficult days, many stressful and sometimes out-of-control-feeling days but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I work with an incredible team of people, I have insight into the leadership of our organisation but the bulk of the decision-making doesn’t fall with me, thankfully, which suits me just fine.
When you’re a mother to small children it can be extremely thankless. I am blessed to be surrounded by a village of mums, both my age and older who have encouraged me and inspired me in motherhood. But there have also been some very dark days. Days where I’ve felt like a failure, like no one else has a toddler who lashes out on a nearly daily basis to scratch, bite and eye gouge. Where I’m the only one who doesn’t have the perfect Instagram-worthy children. Where I’ve felt that everyone else has it all together except me.
In short, as much as I try to ignore it, it’s impossible. Yes, I care about your opinion. Often too much, and sometimes that can be debilitating.
The need to want to prove myself worthy of whatever label I’ve been given. There’s the fear, as a full time working mum that I’m being looked down on by those who choose to stay at home with their children, or the other way around, that those who work are the envy of those who stay home because they think “Oh I don’t know how you juggle it all, I could never do it.” I can’t tell you how much that last comment has both served as an encouragement to me and as a sting of judgement over the years.
It works both ways and you know what’s beautiful? Difficult to live out, but beautiful to keep reminding myself of: there is never a one-size fits all model to parenting, or to life. We are all BY DESIGN different and unique and we should let our lives proudly reflect that. We were created for community and it is in celebrating our differences and recognising that God works through all of that, that true joy and appreciation for one another can come.
Earlier this year I summed myself up with these labels:
“I am a full time working, SUV-driving soccer mum, an Executive Assistant, a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a home-owner, a Sydney-sider, a shower-singing, chocolate-loving, beer-drinking Christian.”
Apparently all packed together this is who I am. This is what defines me. These are some of the labels that make me uniquely me. It’s interesting though that only one of those labels shows me where I should be looking to find my worth. CHRISTian. We need to be looking to Christ to figure out who we are and how we maintain the life of a faithful servant of Jesus amidst the craziness around us. To not only look to Him and to the example he set us but also to emulate that.
Jesus shows us who’s approval we should be seeking. He shows us who’s opinion really matters. It’s definitely not the approval of those around us that we should be consumed with. Jesus did not come to earth for the approval of people. In fact it was the complete opposite. He came to earth knowing that he would be shunned, that he would be an outcast, that he would have many enemies who would one day do the unthinkable and end his life. But we know He sought God’s will…knew he would die but that that isn’t the end of his (or our) story.
Psalm 139 is a beautiful place to not only see the incredible enormity of God, but also His intimacy and His love for you. He wants you to look to Him to know who you are and what your purpose is on this earth. Let’s start appreciating the differences among us and stop comparing, because God didn’t create robots, he created people in His image. With a shadow of His creativity, His kindness, His love and His grace. Let’s put all this to good use and encourage each other this week rather than compare and desire the approval of humans. I’m up for the challenge if you are.
BB
